Building Team Trust By Staying “Inside The House” Longer

Recently, I was with a team and noticed something interesting happening when challenges came up – there was a draw to blame the challenges on people outside the team.

“Can we stay inside the house a little longer?”, I asked.

I got a few curious glances back. “Can we stay inside the team for a little longer, and see if there’s anything more we can learn about how we’re contributing to this?” That willingness of the team to re-center and “stay inside” helped them learn and do more within their control.

The teams that consistently get things done have this weird habit: they assume they’re part of the problem first. Not in a way that involves beating themselves up, but strategically reflecting instead. When we stay “inside” longer, we find levers we didn’t know we had. We stop being victims of our circumstances and start being the team that can change things.

Trust within a team helps with this sense of shared ownership – so take time to do things that contribute towards trust, it will help the team in big ways later.

The question isn’t whether your team has room to look inward first. The question is whether you’re willing to try – everyone has the ability to try staying inside a little longer.

Here’s an experiment this week: Next time your team hits a wall, say this: “Before we talk about what’s outside our control, let’s spend 10 minutes on what’s inside it.” Watch what happens – to the conversation, to the energy in the room, and to what becomes possible. Shoot me a note if you get a chance to try it!

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Here are a few resources I’ve found interesting and have been sharing with clients lately:

1 // The shift to becoming a curious leader will change everything for you. (18 min podcast)

2 // The real reason people won’t change. (10 min read)

3 // What if setting boundaries doesn’t come naturally? (3 min read)

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